Ever since we learnt to write alphabets and numbers, we all have been writing exams.

Heck, the earliest tests you would have written were nothing but alphabets and numbers. It was one of the most difficult subjects to learn! We would stare in awe at our seniors in 1st grade! But it won’t matter for us anyway. Our focus was not at getting marks, not at getting compelling grades. It was at returning to home soon as possible.
Our Kindergarten teachers would try their best to squeeze through the language skill you are currently able to use. As a result, you more or less subconsciously manage to have a grasp of all the alphabetical mumbo jumbo. Like an open book, your actions and mannerisms will be at constant supervision. It won’t bother you one bit.

With your increasing self-consciousness proportional to your age, your awareness of surroundings increases dramatically. An unknown human staring at the back of the neck will suddenly feel a bit tingling to you. You also, at a point, will decide to keep your interests out for a while and decide to focus on what others think about you. While you are writing your test, you will find yourself on the edge of anxiety whenever the Supervisor is around. Even though you know that you don’t have any malicious intent, your uncertainity with yourself means that vulnerability will envelop your thoughts.

Once you pass out of your rebellious phase in flying colours, personal interests start to take over. Your personality will gradually transform into one which suits the interests inscribed on the back of your heart. what happens if you haven’t found your interest yet? Nope, nothing. Just hope that you find that soon. Otherwise you’ll be the same old kid looking for attention again. In this duration, since our purpose is clear and our vision is directed towards our goal, external factors such as supervision will not be able to penetrate your immaculate tunnel towards well-wished achievement.

After passing through all those phases, last year we hit a middle ground due to a strongly encypted virus. Though our subconsious managed to overcome the feelings of being watched, our thinking part doesn’t. As the holidays unfolded, people managed to overcome it - although it can be said that they simply got used to it. But still, there was major difference in how we were monitored this time around. Not by human eyes, but by preprogrammed eyes. No emotion, no sense of immediate and unavoidable situations, and we are left with the combo of our kindergarten and school attributes. The fear of getting watched, coupled with the ability to give indivdual attention through viewing and recording whatever you were doing on your computer, radiated an intimidating aura. We were left with no option but to obey it.

But once we shifted our field of vision - our imminent goal to complete the X online test, it becomes easier for us to recuperate. Faced with the double edged sword to slice up your negativities, it becomes important for us to balance our priorities accordingly. The scale tipping over on either side doesn’t bode well.

At the least, we could be satisfied that they are recording it to check malpractice and not for correcting our mistakes.